I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
