it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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