I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize