Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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