Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
