Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize