I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Where are you guys?
Drunk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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