The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize