i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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