its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
