I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
