Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
