Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
