my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Welp...herpes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
