guys are only as good as the porn they watch
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
