I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
