Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
