thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Even my vagina gasped.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize