Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
