Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
