we have officially lost it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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