Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
