Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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