So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
