yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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