also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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