she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
