People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
