My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
