i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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