Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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