CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you had me at cake vodka
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
