used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My liver just had a heart attack.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
