Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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