why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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