she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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