masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
