I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
