this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
