I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
