My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
