'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
please don't ironically join a cult
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