Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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