just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
