hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
