her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
