Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
