She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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