dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Panties = found
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
