he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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