Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
