The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
