never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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