I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dick very happy bro
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
