Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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