How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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