he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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