In the future we'll all be gay
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
