last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
