i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
