You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize