everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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