i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
