So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize