jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
