Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
