5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
