Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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