is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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