I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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