i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize