Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
