dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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