I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
