Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
