This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
