ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize