eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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