the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
