I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
